So this is what it feels like to spend Christmas/Hanukkah in the hospital. There are very few people in the hospital. The halls are practically empty, except for those few who have to be here. I feel especially bad for the patients, families & staff who celebrate Christmas. It's so "unfestive" here. Hanukkah is not a major holiday, so being here tonight is not so different from being here any other night. But to spend Christmas in the pediatric oncology unit must be horrible. No one even utters the words, "Merry Christmas." There's just nothing "merry" about it.

Matthew is doing pretty well, considering all he's been through the past week. He weathered the chemo pretty easily and the stem cell transplant went off without a hitch. He's looking good, eating a little, and has pretty good energy. The major problems over the past few days have been nosebleeds (a problem when you have low platelets), an allergic reaction to a transfusion, minor fever, some abdominal pain and nausea. All of this sounds like a lot, but in the scheme of things, I guess, not very serious.

We spent this first night of Hanukkah together in the hospital. We lit our electric menorah, sang blessings, and gave the kids presents. Afterwards, we played the traditional dreidel game, spinning the top to see who could win the most chocolate coins.

Hanukkah is, of course, a holiday that celebrates miracles. I guess I never thought much about that on a personal level before, but this year is certainly different. In that spirit, I found this very meaningful quote that I printed out to share with the other families and staff:

"Hanukkah is not just some celebration of miracles performed in the past.
Neither is it just a commemoration of righteous people who lived in the
distant past. It is a guiding light for people from all walks of life, from
all eras in time, to see through the darkness of their personal lives and to
become a part of history. It is encouragement for those who face
insurmountable odds as a result of personal history. It is a declaration
that God will perform miracles for us when we courageously stand up for
battle. It is inspiration for us to be our own Maccabees in waging our inner battle."
Credit: Chanukah with Rebbe Nachman of Breslov by Yehoshua Starrett, Breslov Research Institute http://www.nehora.com/

Wishing you happy holidays...